I went to a meeting this morning and it was cold, very cold. It was 48 degrees and it was an inside meeting. Apparently the programmable thermostat stopped working because it needed new batteries. This problem was taken care of and the heat did go up a bit during the 3 hour meeting. The thing that was most astonishing to me is that we all sat there in the cold. I at least got my jacket and gloves. Yet we carried on with the meeting.
It made me think about the number of times I have sat politely while my heart told me to walk away from a situation. By the time I finally extract myself from a situation like this my thoughts are far from polite. Why do we do it? Why do we follow our heads and our sense of politeness when our heart and every fiber in our soul tells us to go. I think it is because our heads are also telling us that we would be wrong or shameful if we acted in our own best interest. And I am not talking about personal gain type interest. I am talking about making decisions that are compatible with the deepest level of who we are. I want to respect that deep level, yet I have to admit that I don’t always.
Not respecting my deepest heartfelt feelings never works out for me. It generally leaves me feeling torn and a bit frustrated and upset with myself. Each time it happens I grow a bit more confident in knowing what is best for me. And each new situation brings an opportunity for me to stand up for my heart and to politely excuse myself. I may be judged by others for this, but at least I will not judge myself for forcing myself into an uncomfortable situation that puts me out of alignment with my integrity. I am just tired of being cold hearted toward me.
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