It Can’t Be All About Procrastination

It seems that every couple of days I am checking in with the work load that has built up. I sort through the list in my mind just to see if everything is moving forward. Most of the time this mental process works well enough and I am actually getting done what I want to do. Other times outside tasks infringe on my time and I have to make a list so that these “other” tasks don’t lose their way. I do know that the things that have not originated inside of my head don’t always get a top priority. And the things that aren't fun just fall to the side. I will get them done; it may take a long time or I will dash through them so that they can be out of my life.

Procrastination is a strange thing and a strange word. I think that everyone a has different degree of procrastination in their life. Even if you do everything quickly there will be some tasks that are not done quickly enough and they will fall into the shadows of procrastination. There is something about the word that implies laziness and a weakness of character. Yet I have to admit that sometimes projects are delayed for other reasons. However in my brain it really does not matter if there is a valid reason for a delay. The darkness always comes and I begin to think about procrastination; weighing out each step I am taking to see if I am actually procrastinating.

I am always amazed at how eager some people are to decide if someone else is dawdling along. We take out that ruler that we reserve for the rest of the world to see if our family and friends measure up. Even though we are seldom aware of this the only thing that we have measured is ourselves. I have met people that have made procrastination an art form. It appears that they enjoy putting things off and watching how results happen in their own way. I know that my puritan ancestors would not allow this and I use my ruler harshly on myself. I have to admit that I hate the word and how it is put together. I have strived to banish it from my life, yet each and every day it reappears. And it is this ancestral tie that has it tethered to me. It is not ever present in my life, yet it is certainly lingering in the shadows. And I know it will swoop out and consume me if I allow myself to stop moving forward and stop beating my “to do” list into submission.