Shifting to Spring

We got a bit of rain and snow this morning. It was not enough to amount to much and as I headed out this morning I was struck by how spring like it was. It was not particularly warm; it just had the sense and feel of spring approaching.

 As I continued my drive to work I felt a noticeable shift in the energy of the Universe. It is always hard to describe what that feels like. It is something similar to being tapped on the shoulder and turning to find no one there. Perhaps the shift was that everyone is thinking about spring.

Here We Go Again

I am feeling a bit unsettled today. I have started a new course and I am feeling a bit like it is just something, once again, that I will do with no results. I know that it is self- criticism that drives me to condemn projects that do not result in a new creation. For me it is all about the results of the project and not so much about the journey to get there. And the moment that I say this out loud I know that this is a false truth. The real truth in my heart is that it is the journey that is important. The hard part for me is getting to that place in my mind were I know this every moment of the day.

I have been trained to produce a product; a product that is marketable and so this is what must be achieved at some point. Even when I am writing I watch out for my need to create a product instead of just letting my heart and hands come together to create the words that come from my soul. It is a bit frustrating to melt one’s dreams into a glob that is a recognizable form that someone will want to buy.  It has over the years hardened my dreaming muscle and made it more natural to reach only for that time tested product.

The problem that I have is that I don’t really see any products on the shelf that fit who I am or match what it is I have come here to say. I then get this crazy idea that I have to come up with something new. And this is where I get stuck. It is scary to leap upon the world with something new. What if it is so new that it is crazy? I have all of these social barriers that test the validity of an idea (or thought) and sensor those thoughts that stray too far from the path of sanity (or at least what fits neatly into the definition of sanity).

If I told the truth I think that at times I would like to cross the line and shake things up a bit. I would like to follow my passion even if it leads me down what seem to be crazy paths. As I pause and take a breath (metaphorically) I prepare myself for this new journey. I prepare myself for the possibility that I will take one of those paths and I will create something crazy. But there I go again getting hooked into the product before the journey has started. 

A Small Bite

You don’t need to know where you are headed. You just need to know there is a longing and a desire. What unfolds can be discovered in small bites.

So It’s Valentine’s Day

We got the results on Ginger Bear’s biopsy today. And as I said yesterday the day you plan does not always turn out the way we want. We are thankful for what we have and are discarding the rest…

We are just breathing in and exhaling moment by moment.